Pain but Hope-Story

Gleaming lights glare into a young white American woman’s eyes. She walks through the kitchen to the living room. She turns off the TV, as an air conditioner machine makes the sound of a deep river. She sits on a leather couch. Her smile has escaped from her face. She clenches her snow white teeth inside her pursed lips. She gazes at the picture hanging on the wall. Her pitiful face contorts into a grimace. The tears fill her eyes and roll down her face. She takes down the picture and holds it in her hand. Her moderate voice speaks out.
“Did you fight for your people?” She asks the question to the picture. You did not fight to protect your people. You went to kill innocent people in the name of your enemies. Did you sacrifice for the nation? No, you sacrificed yourself for them, who like the war. I hate them. Tell me any benefit of the war.”
Bina becomes furious. She leaves the picture on the tea table and runs to her sleeping room. She slams the door, and she jumps into the bed. Bina hides her face in the pillow. A huge mirror on the wall catches her reflection. When she looks in the mirror, the scene teases her. She throws the pillow at the mirror and pulls the bedcover sheet over her head. She kicks the makeup holder. A flower decorated glass falls, breaks and scatters on the floor. She returns to the living room and sits on the couch and holds the picture.
“Mama, mama” The little baby boy calls for his mother from the stroller.
Bina breaks her concentration from the picture. She gets up and goes to care for Ben.
Ben raises his hands towards her mother.
“Pardon me, baby, I didn’t pay attention,” Bina says.
She catches Ben’s arms and pulls him out from the stroller. She embraces him. Her eyes are pulled back toward the picture.
“Bryan, you left a part of you with me always.”
Innocent one-and-half-year-old Ben smiles when Bina picks him up. Ben’s immature nude feet, growing hair, bud lips, fat cheeks, keen eyes and unclear speaking give a peaceful moment to Bina. She plays, sings and enjoys time with her son. She swings Ben, and she holds him on her chest and lap. Ben’s saliva spills on her shoulders.
Ben gets tired of playing with his mother and begins to close his eyes and cannot keep his head upright. Bina takes him into the sleeping room and she lies next to him on the bed. She caresses his forehead with her loving hands. She covers him with a wool blanket.
Bina goes back to the living room. She shuts the windows and she pulls on the huge curtains. She peers through the skylight, but she cannot see the sky and stars that disappear into the darkness of the black night. She burns a candle, and the aroma of lemongrass and geranium spreads out from the flame. She turns off the lights. The room transforms into a silent and dark place. Bina squats on the floor. The candle’s calm light spreads on her beautiful face. Her breathing, looking, and moving express a sense of mercy in her charming body; she reveals a deep sadness and bows down her head. She cannot conceal it and she starts sobbing. She replaces the picture in the same place on the wall.
“No war.
“War, it destroys lives.
“Peace.
“It provides the freedom to enjoy,” She screams.
“Need peace. I cannot see anymore loss.”
“Yes, I lost you, the American experience. I cannot repress my grief.”
Bina talks to her husband, Bryan. But, he doesn’t speak to her. She goes back to the sleeping room and lies down on the bed to wait for sleep.
Bina says, “I chose to spend my time alone. Forgive me, Bryan. But, your dreams, hopes, myths and beliefs will not die. Our trust in the future is our son, Ben. Many of the U.S. soldiers never had the chance to have their sons and daughters.”